The error was so egregious that I took pictures to make sure my eyes weren’t deceiving me. When I ambled into the kitchen, it was to find the two lads staring despondently at the stovetop sitting in the middle of a hole that was 1.25″ too big on either side. I did indeed have feelings of grim forebodings. “Hmm,” I thought, “is it just my imagination, or do I have feelings of grim forebodings?” It wasn’t my imagination. It was the type of silence that does everything but scream to be heard. This wasn’t a cheerful silence that announces the arrival of something interesting or wonderful to behold. I could hear their cheery chatter whenever there was a pause in the drills and saws they were using to bore holes for the faucets (taps in England) and cutouts for the sink and stovetop. Two young lads (I’m guessing mid-20s) were doing all the work. We are never, ever going to move out of this house, is all I can say. I try not to think about how much they cost. The new countertops arrived this morning. The plan was for me to be able to handle any crises if and when they arose in reality, I fear that all I’ve achieved is perfecting the ability to look dimwitted and to act ineffectually whenever the occasion demands. I don’t recall ever talking about getting a farmhouse sink, but the way Gina tells this tale, I’m starting to think that having a farmhouse sink must have been one of my lifetime ambitions.ĭuring the days, I’ve been working out of my son’s bedroom (which wasn’t affected by the leak). Furthermore, if we were going to replace the countertops “anyway” (you can see where this is going, can’t you?), then this would be an ideal time to purchase the farmhouse sink we’d always talked about getting. I know because I’ve been “invited” to compare and contrast them day-in and day-out until my brains started to leak out of my ears.īut wait, there’s more, because - to my horror - I was informed that the existing countertops in the kitchen would not complement our new color scheme, so they would have to be replaced. Don’t talk to me about “Fifty Shades of Grey” - there are millions upon millions of them. It turns out that the in-look today is based on different hues of grey. “No problemo,” I thought, “it doesn’t cost any more to paint a different color.” All of which goes to show just how little I know. “Fair enough,” I thought, “a bit of a spruce-up wouldn’t hurt.” Next, Gina informed me that if we were to be repainting anyway, we really should use a new color palette, because the existing 10-year-old color scheme was now out of date. The thing is that, since the house was going to be empty of furniture anyway, my wife (Gina the Gorgeous) said that we should have it repainted on the basis that nothing has changed on the paint front since we moved in 10+ years ago. The plan is to return home in just a couple of days as I pen these words. In turn, this means we’ve been living out of a hotel for the past three and a half weeks. This tortuous tale starts with us (my wife, my son, and yours truly) having two big water leaks at our house, resulting in all the furniture being taken to storage and most of the floors being pulled up and replaced. Let me cut a long story short (yes, I know that’s not like me - I usually go the other way - but I’m up to my armpits in alligators fighting fires without a paddle, so I’m obliged to be brief). The reason I’m waffling on about this is that I just observed someone learning the meaning behind “measure twice, cut once” the hard way. A somewhat related proverb is, “More haste, less speed,” which means that you will make better progress with a task if you don’t try to do it too quickly alternatively, that if you do try to do things too quickly, it will take you longer in the end. The idea is that one should double-check one’s measurements for accuracy before cutting a piece of wood (or fabric) otherwise it may be necessary to cut again, thereby wasting both material and time.Īs an aside, you may also hear someone say this as a general warning to carefully plan and prepare for something before taking action “Think before you act” or “Look before you leap,” in other words. This expression originally referred to carpentry and needlework. There’s an old proverb that you’ve almost certainly heard: “Measure twice, cut once.” This is the English version the equivalent in Russian is, “Measure seven times, cut once” (I’d be interested to hear if you are aware of any other varieties). Do you have any tales to tell of erroneous measurements that ended either in disaster or in an unexpected triumph?
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